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With (hopefully) 9 weeks left to go, here’s a short list of things that I’d like to call out as stupid:

1. Devoting even a second to thoughts about what you could be buying if you weren’t spending the equivalent of a new Subaru Outback every year over the next three years in childcare costs. Just let that thought float away, like your desire to own a Shinola wrist watch or Public bike. It’s now dead to you.

2.  Using standard exam tables in OB/GYN offices. The nurse tells you to get up onto it and takes your vitals. Then, she leaves and you sit on the table and wait for the doctor (after 30 seconds, any length of time now feels like an eternity). There’s nothing to lean on in a sitting position. If you lie down, the incline isn’t enough to make it possible to read anything comfortably (and you’ve been told by your physician not to lie on your back anyway).  And, with a belly housing another person, lying on your side with your neck crooked up at a bizarre 15-20 degree angle is the perfect mixture of awkward and unnatural. You end up holding a magazine over your head to read like you’re shielding your eyes from the sun, and then struggling pathetically to sit up when the doctor arrives because your abdominal muscles have a person sitting on top of them.

You only WISH that you had some rad flannel pants like these.

You only WISH that you had some rad flannel pants like these.

3.  Being required to fill out a gazillion daycare enrollment forms for an unborn child when paying a deposit for an infant spot. I mean, there’s no name. There’s no birth date. I have no idea when she’ll eat, sleep, or poop regularly, and my ability to give daily routine instructions or provide her most recent vaccination record are based entirely on best intentions. These forms make complete sense for children that exist, and saying that sentence out loud to someone is surreal.

4.  The massive divide between maternity wear that’s comfortable in warm-to-hot weather and maternity wear that’s appropriately professional in the office. Skin tight tanks and maxi dresses don’t exactly signal “listen, I know what I’m talking about.” Everyone is thinking “she’s huge and did you see what just jutted out noticeably as it rolled over in her uterus?”.

ARTICLE THAT MADE MY WEEK (for obvious reasons): Mounting Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers

CLOSE SECOND: Free Range v. Helicopter Parenting: Get the Facts

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